When we are passionate about something, what holds us back? Why does it take so long for some of us to really dive into our passion, or even find out what we are passionate about?
It seems to me that one of the main culprits is fear. Fear can be one of the most weakening emotions. Yet, oddly enough, for some people it can motivate and energize them.
I personally think it is quite interesting how emotions can affect people differently. For some people, fear is not something they hide from (think of thrill-seekers and horror movie enthusiasts). They may be scared of something, but they will seek it out or try to conquer it by doing it. For others though, fear can be the thing that stops them in their place. Frozen in fear, creating a barrier between them and progress. Every thought, every inaction, is revolved around that sense of fear and panic. I get it, because that is what has been happening to me.
It’s a little ironic that I say this, because I am a huge believer in mind over matter. That we are the master of our own mind and we have the ability to achieve what we think we can’t by changing the way we think. This is the power of positive thinking.
Yet here I am, knowing that I still let fear control some of the things I do, and essentially what I end up not doing.
I have always had a passion for the arts, and last night my husband looked at me and asked “What is it that you really want to do?” Which, to be honest, is one of the hardest questions for me to answer. As I grow, my answer keeps changing. I have however found one common thread to stay true; I love the Arts!
My main challenge is that the Arts encompass many fields, and I like them all! There is Photography, make-up, clothing design, drafting, woodworking, pottery, painting, drawing, writing, videography, music, and so much more.
Then he asked me the follow up question to my diluted listed answer: “If you could choose one to focus on which one would you choose?”
For me, this question is agony. Why would you make me choose? It is like a cruel and unusual punishment to make me pick from all these things that give me joy. But, unfortunately for me, my husband made a great argument as to why I should choose. It’s great to find joy in so many things, but in order to be successful in any one thing you need to narrow it down to just that: one thing.
Of course this is something I have heard thousands of times throughout my life. Just pick something and go for it! Work on it. Excel at it. I get it. But, I really didn’t want to get it, so it never happened. You might ask why I say that I didn’t want to get it, and it’s simple. I didn’t want to choose which thing I liked to do most, because I found joy in each area. However, what I have come to realize, is that choosing one subject to focus on does not mean I am neglecting or forgetting about the others. It more so means that I am going to focus on one thing. Practice it, fine tune it, and find my personal excellence within it.
I have always been afraid to write. Not journaling, which stays private, but any form that involves external readers. This blog, for instance, is my main example. It doesn’t take me long to come up with things to write about. Honestly, every night in bed my mind races with words and ideas that I would like to write down. The fear is what holds me back.
What am I so afraid of? Of being exposed, vulnerable, hated, ridiculed, and of baring my soul and being ultimately rejected. And you know what? These are all legitimate fears. Everyone has these fears. We are all human, and that carries with it the burden of complex emotions. That is okay.
As my daughter loves to say: “I am a person.”
I am beautifully complex.
I am afraid of putting it all out there and being rejected. But I have decided that I am going to work through it, and work past it, because it is okay to be afraid.
Let us not allow fear to control us.
Let us conquer our fears and find our passion!